The Promised Land. It's just around the corner...s. (sigh). 39 years of speculating on what is next and how it's gonna be?? (sigh).
The children of Israel needed to leave Egypt. It was time. God made paths for departure and a promise for what was lying ahead. But things did not go in a straight line. There was a lot of wandering. Wandering sucks.
Meandering is nice. But transitions 'from' without a clear idea of 'to' is not meandering, no matter how long and circuitous the path. It is wandering; wondering; speculating; ghosting. Can't go back. 'Back there' has changed for you. So you have to keep trying to focus on the presence of God and resist the temptations of self-pity and grumbling. Who died miserable? Those who were 'apistian' - unfaithful (Hebrews 13:19).
Unfaithfulness is described as hardening the heart. Enduring by hoping less. Eventually we no longer hear the voice of God, and that, partly because we do not share in encouragement with the children of God. Somehow a promise-infused heart is necessary to make it through transition, and that from other sojourners who take turns lifting up the promises to inspire others to press on.
For me the trick is in part knowing who to relate to, and in what way. I'm constantly asking questions about which questions to even ask; not a very fun conversation to have. So where are the co-sojourners to "exhort one another every day"? We don't transition in packs. Singles, couples... it can be quite isolating to neither be part of where you were or where you are passing through. How do we know the way forward and how to we sustain the optimism to keep looking?
I wish I knew, better than I do right now. What I have learned is to rehearse the past. I don't try and relive the past, I know better than that (I hope). What I try to do is remember the angst of not knowing the way forward I had prior to launching into adventures which are now treasured and rich with sentiment of meaning and life and love. Somehow, that HOPE of a veiled future becoming a living present and eventually a remembered heritage is what we need; (that and all the warnings that if we stop hoping and resign ourselves to bitterness we will get bitten by vipers and die a toxic death). So, forward it is, yeah?
Monday, April 23, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
What chu gunna due...
Vocation. Purpose and provision. Make a living and live a life. Kind of important. For me, its time to focus on it.
When I had an ordination meeting 1 guy wanted me to recite the 66 books of the Bible and to be very, very clear on the role I was called to fulfill for the rest of my life. I think I satisfied him with the first question, but made him frown about the second one. "I am called to help expand the Kingdom of God".
"Missionary? Senior pastor? Counselor? Make up your mind, son!" Well, he wasn't that brash, but it does make for a better story; and it certainly is the story rattling in my head these days. Is it too late to be a social psychology researcher studying why some guys contribute to the system with anxious and strident calls for anti-paradox? If not, then I may be ready to answer your question, bruther.
So, now that I'm coming out of the grieving phase of God blessing my prayers and giving me kids who are grown up and doing fine without me, it is time to get cleaned up and honed up once again. Who am I and what am I supposed to do with my life?
I have AT&T phone and internet, so one thing I know, I need money. I have a wife and I live in a world where provision doesn't grow on trees, it comes through networks. So, I need to get in a grove of networking and do something perceived as useful enough to get my share of resources. Nothing mercenary about it, it's just part of mutual reciprocity, of belonging, of wearing my tribal colors.
But even if someone bought me a winning lottery ticket I would still need more than provision, I need purpose. I really enjoy watching soccer, but even if I was richer than Roman Abromovich, I would not find watching everyone else doing something enough. I need to take the treasures God has invested in me and invest them in life. I can't bury myself or hide my grace given light under an ikea container. I gotta get on with life.
So here comes the devil's domain; the details. I fancy a shot at a couple of ventures here in the US, taking a break from living everywhere but here. One is a church plant north of Austin. "Where 2 or more are gathered" would become a frequent phrase for a while. I would be jack of all trades. I would have to act like an extrovert. But, it would be exciting. The trick is partly one of provision. If it all came together I would get some financial backing to get started from a few local churches. The twist is I might get several pastors of those supporting churches each being my supervisor. "Have you tried this..." "I always find that...". The idea of getting good ideas is great. The idea of constantly disappointing at least one of several is a bit unhealthy. Really not so sure about that.
Another idea is pursuing a pastorate in a rather large church with a big staff and really likeable people. Full time preaching. I'd have to learn how to be funny, though. And clear. And practical. I wonder if I'm up to the challenge? I'd never get to use words like "phantasmagorphic". The best I could hope for is working up to "cognitive-dissonance" as a familiar term for regulars.
But, that might be o.k. right now. I'd like to be indulgently peculiar, obfscating my messages on clarity and such. But maybe being sane and accessible is o.k. too?
When I had an ordination meeting 1 guy wanted me to recite the 66 books of the Bible and to be very, very clear on the role I was called to fulfill for the rest of my life. I think I satisfied him with the first question, but made him frown about the second one. "I am called to help expand the Kingdom of God".
"Missionary? Senior pastor? Counselor? Make up your mind, son!" Well, he wasn't that brash, but it does make for a better story; and it certainly is the story rattling in my head these days. Is it too late to be a social psychology researcher studying why some guys contribute to the system with anxious and strident calls for anti-paradox? If not, then I may be ready to answer your question, bruther.
So, now that I'm coming out of the grieving phase of God blessing my prayers and giving me kids who are grown up and doing fine without me, it is time to get cleaned up and honed up once again. Who am I and what am I supposed to do with my life?
I have AT&T phone and internet, so one thing I know, I need money. I have a wife and I live in a world where provision doesn't grow on trees, it comes through networks. So, I need to get in a grove of networking and do something perceived as useful enough to get my share of resources. Nothing mercenary about it, it's just part of mutual reciprocity, of belonging, of wearing my tribal colors.
But even if someone bought me a winning lottery ticket I would still need more than provision, I need purpose. I really enjoy watching soccer, but even if I was richer than Roman Abromovich, I would not find watching everyone else doing something enough. I need to take the treasures God has invested in me and invest them in life. I can't bury myself or hide my grace given light under an ikea container. I gotta get on with life.
So here comes the devil's domain; the details. I fancy a shot at a couple of ventures here in the US, taking a break from living everywhere but here. One is a church plant north of Austin. "Where 2 or more are gathered" would become a frequent phrase for a while. I would be jack of all trades. I would have to act like an extrovert. But, it would be exciting. The trick is partly one of provision. If it all came together I would get some financial backing to get started from a few local churches. The twist is I might get several pastors of those supporting churches each being my supervisor. "Have you tried this..." "I always find that...". The idea of getting good ideas is great. The idea of constantly disappointing at least one of several is a bit unhealthy. Really not so sure about that.
Another idea is pursuing a pastorate in a rather large church with a big staff and really likeable people. Full time preaching. I'd have to learn how to be funny, though. And clear. And practical. I wonder if I'm up to the challenge? I'd never get to use words like "phantasmagorphic". The best I could hope for is working up to "cognitive-dissonance" as a familiar term for regulars.
But, that might be o.k. right now. I'd like to be indulgently peculiar, obfscating my messages on clarity and such. But maybe being sane and accessible is o.k. too?
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Psalm 105
1Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done.
2Sing to him, sing praise to him;
tell of all his wonderful acts.3Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
4Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.
Psalm 105 is inscribed on a Chinese scroll hanging in a Sunday school room in Antioch Baptist Church in Timberlake, North Carolina. The opening verses are arranged in a format to highlight the letters A-N-T-I-O-C-H. It is a thank you gift from our family to the church family who sent us out to the other side of the world, cryptically referred to as "the pink country".
In 1996 a 3, 4 and 5 year old loaded up their blankies, a select few remaining stuffed animals, and set off with the parents to a land where bread was replaced by rice. Trees were planted in their memory, and now I carry a special wooden pen carved from one of those trees felled in a storm. The kids have also grown tall, not falling in the storms, but launching into their own lives. Coming back to Antioch I reconnect with those small children and the family of hope. It is almost too much to bear.
We went, not out of restlessness in North Carolina, but out of overflow of gratitude. "Give thanks to YHWH; call on his Name". As young adults, fresh out of the Marine Corps and uncertain of our new civilian identities, each of us came to understand the grace of God in Christ and each of us called out in confidence to him. We told each other when we committed our lives to one another, that every day given was a bonus upon the amazing grace we had already received.
The Psalm, 105, is partially found in 1 Chronicles 16. It is the account of David bringing the Ark of the Covenant into the city of Peace. God with his people prompts songs. "Sing to him, sing praise to him;" God's presence with his people; the God of grace and comfort; the one who rescues us from ourselves and a world turned upside down; it is a cause for poetic release; of lyric love.
In verses 1, 2 and 3 ("Glory in his holy name;"), the delight in the relationship with God, in gratitude, song and glorying, each result in the call to bring the goodness to others.
...make known among the nations what he has done.
...tell of all his wonderful acts.
...let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice
When we see God's goodness, we share that with others. That is what we have tried to do. And now? What now?
"Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always."
Saturday, April 07, 2012
the resurrection as a 'black swan' event
Was 'resurrection' a major theme of the gospels, and a major expectation of the disciples? N.T. Wright argues "no". The pharisees believed in the resurrection, as did those who followed Jesus, but the basic understanding was at the end of history there would be a new creation launched with resurrection.
The point is that Jesus rising from the dead was truly shocking and defining for his followers, not an expected next step which they felt compelled to claim regardless of whether it actually happened or not.
for the disciples :
A "black swan" was an English idiom of improbability, like, "when pigs fly". Swans were all white, not black; plain and simple. But then a naturalist, John Latham, brought word from Australia: "Actually...."
This overturned idiom then became the title for a book by Nassim Taleb describing phenomena like the rise of the computer, September 11 attacks, etc. Each one is surprising, significant, and in the rear-view mirror, sensible (should have seen it coming). The concept, then, of shocking deviation from expectation, is part of life in a world of limited knowledge and understanding. Jesus' resurrection fits that criteria.
When Paul preaches to the eclectic pagan crowd at the Areopagus he merges with them for a common starting point and then begins to make a distinction of worshipping the creator vs. the creation. His pivotal point is that the diversity of religious views and practices have been decisively clarified by a black swan event: the ruling judge of right and wrong is now known due to his resurrection from the dead.
Today when we preach, the options are varied as well. There are various religions which are focused and claim that their internal perspective lines up with external reality over and against other beliefs. Muslims tend to think they are right and others are wrong. They do not see themselves as speaking through their experience, or blindly describing an elephant leg. They claim that Mohammed has seen the whole elephant and his description is the only accurate one.
Various other religions likewise claim to actually be true. This thinking is in contrast to the seemingly generous (though actually patronizing) view that all religions are 'true' in their own way. In other words, they are voicing narrow views which are wrong but not worth sorting out. There is some sort of ultimate 'divine' and all human expressions fall short and are therefore mere variations on a theme and optional at best.
A major counter voice these days is that transcendence is fundamentally wrong headed and bad. The material reality is the only reality, and efforts experiencing and interpreting meaning and transcendence are delusional and unhelpful. Aggressively atheists assert their confidence in the absurdity of all religions, but particularly on religions like Christianity which make firm claims on interpreting reality.
Just like the audience for Paul, we sometimes are able to begin a conversation but run into a definitive fork in the road. Did Jesus actually rise from the dead, and if so, does it affect everyone everywhere? And since I hold to "yes HE did and yes IT does, the next question is: in what way does it affect everyone?
This is where it gets most interesting for me, right now. First there is the clear idea of getting blessing over curse; forgiveness over judgment; adoption over alienation. By grace through faith there is shalom with God as Abba father. And why? So that the original mandate of being His regents to creation can be fulfilled. The 'so what' celebrates the changing of the colors, from rebel to royalist, but it celebrates the putting on of the new identity more than the putting off of the old.
I knew a gang thug from Chicago. A guy looked at a girl he and his friends were with. They beat the guy to the ground, and then put his heels on the sidewalk. My thug acquaintance then jumped onto the guy's legs. Arrests followed and the judge offered a way out. Go to jail for your crimes, or enlist in the USMC and start a new life with a new code. Charlie Brown (what we called him) was glad to have left the consequences of his old tribe and he should be. However, the goal of his induction was not to be happy to be out of jail. It wasn't as much about what he was not, as it was about who he now was to be. Charlie Brown needed to man up and live out the grace offered to him and be a U.S. Marine with integrity. No, he would not be perfect, but there would be expectations about discipline, courage, integrity etc. which were not a burden, they were a privilege.
The resurrection of Jesus, as Lord over the new and blessed creation, is an exciting opportunity to leave the thuggery of a creation vs creation world and to step humbly into a new order; one of sacrificial love, of blessing not thwarted by those who mock and curse. Though the white swan reality of dog eat dog pervades so much of what I see, hear and experience (even feel), through the resurrection of Christ I have a conviction of something other; something good, something powerful and right. The resurrection is shocking, significant and sensible; it is our blessed hope.
The point is that Jesus rising from the dead was truly shocking and defining for his followers, not an expected next step which they felt compelled to claim regardless of whether it actually happened or not.
for the disciples :
- surprising - resurrection happens after the Messiah completes history, not in the middle of history, right? Apparently not!!
- significant - resurrection now defines what Jesus was trying to teach. The curse of sin has been paid in full and the new creation has begun. Jesus is the awaited blessing and is now the Lord around whom life is to be ordered.
- sensible - resurrection now shows up in promises from Genesis to Jesus and we wonder why it wasn't obvious before. The hints and promises were there all along.
A "black swan" was an English idiom of improbability, like, "when pigs fly". Swans were all white, not black; plain and simple. But then a naturalist, John Latham, brought word from Australia: "Actually...."
This overturned idiom then became the title for a book by Nassim Taleb describing phenomena like the rise of the computer, September 11 attacks, etc. Each one is surprising, significant, and in the rear-view mirror, sensible (should have seen it coming). The concept, then, of shocking deviation from expectation, is part of life in a world of limited knowledge and understanding. Jesus' resurrection fits that criteria.
When Paul preaches to the eclectic pagan crowd at the Areopagus he merges with them for a common starting point and then begins to make a distinction of worshipping the creator vs. the creation. His pivotal point is that the diversity of religious views and practices have been decisively clarified by a black swan event: the ruling judge of right and wrong is now known due to his resurrection from the dead.
Today when we preach, the options are varied as well. There are various religions which are focused and claim that their internal perspective lines up with external reality over and against other beliefs. Muslims tend to think they are right and others are wrong. They do not see themselves as speaking through their experience, or blindly describing an elephant leg. They claim that Mohammed has seen the whole elephant and his description is the only accurate one.
Various other religions likewise claim to actually be true. This thinking is in contrast to the seemingly generous (though actually patronizing) view that all religions are 'true' in their own way. In other words, they are voicing narrow views which are wrong but not worth sorting out. There is some sort of ultimate 'divine' and all human expressions fall short and are therefore mere variations on a theme and optional at best.
A major counter voice these days is that transcendence is fundamentally wrong headed and bad. The material reality is the only reality, and efforts experiencing and interpreting meaning and transcendence are delusional and unhelpful. Aggressively atheists assert their confidence in the absurdity of all religions, but particularly on religions like Christianity which make firm claims on interpreting reality.
Just like the audience for Paul, we sometimes are able to begin a conversation but run into a definitive fork in the road. Did Jesus actually rise from the dead, and if so, does it affect everyone everywhere? And since I hold to "yes HE did and yes IT does, the next question is: in what way does it affect everyone?
This is where it gets most interesting for me, right now. First there is the clear idea of getting blessing over curse; forgiveness over judgment; adoption over alienation. By grace through faith there is shalom with God as Abba father. And why? So that the original mandate of being His regents to creation can be fulfilled. The 'so what' celebrates the changing of the colors, from rebel to royalist, but it celebrates the putting on of the new identity more than the putting off of the old.
I knew a gang thug from Chicago. A guy looked at a girl he and his friends were with. They beat the guy to the ground, and then put his heels on the sidewalk. My thug acquaintance then jumped onto the guy's legs. Arrests followed and the judge offered a way out. Go to jail for your crimes, or enlist in the USMC and start a new life with a new code. Charlie Brown (what we called him) was glad to have left the consequences of his old tribe and he should be. However, the goal of his induction was not to be happy to be out of jail. It wasn't as much about what he was not, as it was about who he now was to be. Charlie Brown needed to man up and live out the grace offered to him and be a U.S. Marine with integrity. No, he would not be perfect, but there would be expectations about discipline, courage, integrity etc. which were not a burden, they were a privilege.
The resurrection of Jesus, as Lord over the new and blessed creation, is an exciting opportunity to leave the thuggery of a creation vs creation world and to step humbly into a new order; one of sacrificial love, of blessing not thwarted by those who mock and curse. Though the white swan reality of dog eat dog pervades so much of what I see, hear and experience (even feel), through the resurrection of Christ I have a conviction of something other; something good, something powerful and right. The resurrection is shocking, significant and sensible; it is our blessed hope.
some mocked; the black swan flew
Now when they heard of the resurrection of the dead,some mocked. But others said, “We will hear you again about this.” - Acts 17:32 ESVmocking. hearing more. how much do we need to know in order to mock?
Mocking is expressing impatience with an idea which we are confident is not worthy of reflection. We mock absurdity, but only if it bothers us enough to push it back into it's place beyond plausibility. But how much mastery do we really have on what is plausible?
Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote ‘The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable’ to address the phenomena of events which are:
- surprising - not what anyone was predicting
- significant - not able to be ignored
- sensible - makes sense looking backward, as if we should have seen it coming
Dead people don't rise. That is the common experience. Telling stories of the dead getting up fits in a category that doesn't typically overlap with our waking sensibilities. Death normally results in a lifeless body. Over and over and over, that is what is experienced and what is therefore expected. Not only is it expected, it begins to rule our understandings of what has been, what is, and what will be. That is only sensible. But what if someone says the sensible has been superseded with the sensational? What if the sensational is significant? What if it really matters? What if it stands up to inspection? What if there is a black swan? What if it really has risen?But others said, “We will hear you again about this.”
Thursday, April 05, 2012
style - substance - style - substance
Can't do skinny jeans. Don't have enough hair to gel it up in shaped allusions to spontaneously unconcerned. Ties never made sense. I don't golf, so I don't want those shirts. I'm not a lumberjack, nor the son of a lumberjack. Not sure how to follow the lines of style to substance.
But how does one find the way from substance to style? Serpentine movements, probably. Even there is the challenge of coalescence of primacy. Somehow definitive themes have to emerge and elicit expression in style.
Funny, though. The substance initiated style then directs future substance, or at the very least, a tension for transition. Continuity and discontinuity vying for validation.
Then there are groups and their effects on substance style cycles. I'm watching a Fleet Foxes video and wondering what was the process that lead to their shoe choices. Several have loafers. I bet there is something to that. But not much.
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