Friday, May 25, 2012

Myers Briggs summaries

"Personality".  Funny concept, really.  I'm sure there is lots of good work on describing what the term personality type does and does not refer to.  But I haven't read it.  I just come back to being impressed with certain accuracy's in personality type profiles.  Here is mine.  It says I live in my head and don't like to do practical stuff.  I would look into that, but a cool song came on and I'm thinking about that instead.  Whatever.  What do these things know anyway?


INTPs live rich worlds inside their minds, which are full of imagination and excitement. Consequently, they sometimes find the external world pales in comparison. This may result in a lack of motivation to form and maintain relationships. INTPs are not likely to have a very large circle of significant relationships in their lives. They're much more likely to have a few very close relationships, which they hold in great esteem and with great affection. Since the INTP's primary focus and attention is turned inwards, aimed towards seeking clarity from abstract ideas, they are not naturally tuned into others' emotional feelings and needs. They tend to be difficult to get to know well, and hold back parts of themselves until the other person has proven themselves "worthy" of hearing the INTP's thoughts. Holding Knowledge and Brain Power above all else in importance, the INTP will choose to be around people who they consider to be intelligent. Once the INTP has committed themself to a relationship, they tend to be very faithful and loyal, and form affectionate attachments which are pure and straight-forward. The INTP has no interest or understanding of game-playing with regards to relationships. However, if something happens which the INTP considers irreconciliable, they will leave the relationship and not look back.

INTP Strengths

  • They feel love and affection for those close to them which is almost childlike in its purity
  • Generally laid-back and easy-going, willing to defer to their mates
  • Approach things which interest them very enthusiastically
  • Richly imaginative and creative
  • Do not feel personally threatened by conflict or criticism
  • Usually are not demanding, with simple daily needs

INTP Weaknesses

  • Not naturally in tune with others' feelings; slow to respond to emotional needs
  • Not naturally good at expressing their own feelings and emotions
  • Tend to be suspicious and distrusting of others
  • Not usually good at practical matters, such as money management, unless their work involves these concerns
  • They have difficulty leaving bad relationships
  • Tend to "blow off" conflict situations by ignoring them, or else they "blow up" in heated anger

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

simply Sundays

New Church plant idea: simply Sundays.
The idea grew out of a particular context, where everyone's life was busy and full of opportunities for learning, service, fun, etc.  The church did not need to duplicate, or compete, with all that others were doing.  The church offered one thing: a focused time of informed reassurance.

For Sunday mornings our Sojos group would gather for snacks, chit chat, and eventually gather around for a time of singing acoustic songs, a bit of prayer, and an expositional teaching time.  It all led to a reflective time consummated with the Lord's supper.  That was our offering of reassurance that our loyalty was to Christ, and our receiving of reassurance that He was, is and will be sufficient for all we need.  That was about it.

So, what about kids, youth, service, demographically focused Bible study groups, community outings?  Nope.  Just Sundays.  We kept it simple.  No sign up for VBS, for campouts, for the next great study... Just Sunday worship together with the Lord's supper as the climax.

But, the youth would get together to further process the study... on their own.  The women would often choose to meet Tuesday afternoons at 2pm.  The men on Thursday mornings at Sojos cafe'.  But there was no sign up, no announcements.  Everything beyond the simple Sunday morning worship was done exclusively through natural relational lines.

Could that work in suburban USA?  Imagine a church that recognizes that people are very busy.  You show up for church and there are no surprises.  It is a time to reflect on God's goodness, learn from his Word, and enjoy fellowship at His table, as part of His family.  And it is enough.

You then go on to your life, and you seek to grow and live and serve in and amongst the world around you.  Other Christians can help you, and you can join them, but it is more organic than institutional.  Missional, but with a familiar format for a simple Sunday time of gathering.

Friday, May 11, 2012

web presence

slowly but surely, i'm shaping some sort of 'web presence'.
CS has helped design a couple of sites:

CrownHeartWorld.com is the diagram of life from a Christian worldview

RussellMinick.com is a guy trying to present himself as he sojourns life puzzles

Monday, May 07, 2012

Strength Finders for Qoholeth, Dostoyevsky, Eeyore and other inspiration puncturing sages.

A couple of different friends have been using the Gallup product StrengthsFinder 2.0.  I'm stuck between wanting to do it or heed the critical reviews which say it only gives you your 5 main strengths and you know those already.  Hmmm.  Apparently one of my strengths is to hold options open without actually deciding.

The bigger question for me is how to be at home with one's strengths while fighting against selfishness and compromise.  As I've looked at various options for the next phase of my own life, I've gotten various tips from people.  Some are quite simple: do what YOU want.

That would be easy, except for a couple of problems.
1- I don't believe my life is mainly about me.  I am drawn into that nutty idea that in order to find your life, in some sense you have to lose it (specifically for the sake of the Redeemer).
2 - I don't know what I want.  I've spent a good bit of time skimming memories of good days and years gone by, and although I'm tempted to want them again, I'm at least mature enough to know that time (as experienced by folk like us) goes in one direction.  I also am reminded by one of my 'strengths' that those great times are great in part because I survived the rough aspects and can now look back at the filtered and softened images with unencumbered delight.  Actually living those special moments again would invite back all the stress and challenges navigating the present typically brings.

So far I've noted 2 of my strengths:
Delayed decision making such that paradox is unresolved
Painful lucidity which prevents sentimentality from keeping me cheerful

I wonder if those are in the Gallup product?  I wonder if I should pay to find out?  Too bad I won't decide.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

anti-telos ~ 2marO?

One of the reasons I am fascinated with "telos" is that I don't "telos" well.  Telos is the Greek word used for completion.  It is used of maturity in general, all the way to very specific things like death and taxes (literally).  
To telos is to get things done.  But I often don't.  An article on 99% (referring to work ethic, not income ranking) notes that admission of problems with procrastination is up from 5% to over 25% since the 1970's.  But that's not my fault; I was part of the 5% of procrastinators even back then.

Psychology Today has an article on types of procrastination.  The cool one is the adrenaline driven motivation.  Like a bull fighter, sorta.  "Wait, wait, wait... swoosh!"  Thrilling.  Uhmmm, that's not me.  I've done running with the bulls in Spain, so adrenaline rush, yeah.  But I don't get that from failing to complete tasks.  I just get that queasy feeling one gets when watching someone else fight bulls.
Another theory is fear of success.  If I were to get things done on time I would be awesome and that would make me lonely.  I'd like to believe that.  I'm holding back so I can hang back with the herd.  Sorta like my daughter thanking me for running slowly during the charity 5k so I could be with her.  Actually I'm heavy and slow and wasn't being generous.  I enjoyed the time, but I wasn't holding back.  This really is my current pace.
So what about the bad self-image one?  There is something suspicious about that one.  Maybe it is a trick category by psychologists to convince you to go see a psychologist.  But then again, if the shoe fits; and its yours; and you can't go barefoot; and you need to go somewhere....
This actually links to the final idea: perfectionism.  That form of procrastination is almost being able to see what ought to be, and then despairing for what is.  The feeling is like trying to learn a flight simulator and lifting too quickly, only to plunge, which ironically refreshes gusto, which leads to a sudden effort at lift, only for it to be too much which leads to plunging... makes me queasy again.
Somehow the lifting HOPE of perfection needs to be modulated by the force of plunging despair looking back at FAITH.  The reality of sin, failure, horror, ugliness, confusion, etc. is the essence of faith.  That is what happened to Habakuk.  His lift toward HOPE, that YHWH would save his covenant people, stalled when the invasion was imminent.  He frantically challenged God on the ruin of a perfect theological understanding.  God then plunged Habakuk into a vision of wildness, evil, suffering, punishing justice, chaos, power, madness... and Habakuk felt lift.  Heart thumping he leveled up and said:
When I heard it, my stomach did flips.
   I stammered and stuttered.
My bones turned to water.
   I staggered and stumbled.
I sit back and wait for Doomsday
   to descend on our attackers.
 Though the cherry trees don't blossom
   and the strawberries don't ripen,
Though the apples are worm-eaten
   and the wheat fields stunted,
Though the sheep pens are sheepless
   and the cattle barns empty,
I'm singing joyful praise to God.
   I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.
Counting on God's Rule to prevail,
   I take heart and gain strength.
I run like a deer.
   I feel like I'm king of the mountain!
   (For congregational use, with a full orchestra.)

CrownHeartWorld

I'm trying again.  I'm gonna try and produce a finished model of the biblical story. I find that I don't edit well.  If I don't manage to start and finish something in one sitting, I have to start all over the next time.  I sure would like to overcome that one day.  But for today, it's a fresh run!

What CrownHeartWorld is about:
The Big Story affects our Personal Story.  Living my life well depends, in part, on my understanding of what life is all about.  I've gone through a few efforts at understanding the Big Story of life and meaning and stuff.  The challenge is experience.

Worldview beta = God is good and so is life.  That was my first draft.  It didn't work past 5th grade.  The problem of evil showed itself as more than a localized bump.

Worldview 2.0 = Life is random and meaning is a joke without a punch line.  I went through various upgrades, thanks mainly to European existentialist authors.  It was even a bit cool to be a cynical teenager, so I was hopeful I had found the Big Story = no story.  Just do whatever.  But stuff mattered, and I couldn't figure out why.  The feeling that my life was actually part of something bigger, and that how I lived my life mattered, would not go away.

Worldview 3.0 = God is revealed in Jesus and he is the key to understanding life.  I'm now on Jesus 3.7 for my worldview.  My understanding has been shaped by reading the biblical texts, experiencing life all over the world, re-reading the texts, etc.  What I am currently up to is a framework of reality that seems proportional to what Jesus has taught and what I experience in my life, and in the lives of others.

What my current worldview seeks to answer are a relatively small set of basic questions.  The mixing and matching of these questions, and the development of them is interesting and all, but I keep coming back to some basics.

1. Why is there something instead of nothing?
2. Why do some things seem good (right) and other things seem bad (wrong)?
3. Is good or bad greater?
4. Why do people have such different views on pursuing good and bad?
5. Is there a way to rightly pursue good over bad in my life?
6. Why is it so hard to understand and live a good life?
7. What difference will it make if I do live for good?

CrownHeartWorld.com










Monday, April 23, 2012

sojourning the wilderness

The Promised Land.  It's just around the corner...s.   (sigh).  39 years of speculating on what is next and how it's gonna be??  (sigh).

The children of Israel needed to leave Egypt.  It was time.  God made paths for departure and a promise for what was lying ahead.  But things did not go in a straight line.  There was a lot of wandering.  Wandering sucks.

Meandering is nice.  But transitions 'from' without a clear idea of 'to' is not meandering, no matter how long and circuitous the path.  It is wandering; wondering; speculating; ghosting.  Can't go back.  'Back there' has changed for you.  So you have to keep trying to focus on the presence of God and resist the temptations of self-pity and grumbling.  Who died miserable?  Those who were 'apistian' - unfaithful (Hebrews 13:19).

Unfaithfulness is described as hardening the heart.  Enduring by hoping less.  Eventually we no longer hear the voice of God, and that, partly because we do not share in encouragement with the children of God.  Somehow a promise-infused heart is necessary to make it through transition, and that from other sojourners who take turns lifting up the promises to inspire others to press on.

For me the trick is in part knowing who to relate to, and in what way.  I'm constantly asking questions about which questions to even ask; not a very fun conversation to have.  So where are the co-sojourners to "exhort one another every day"?  We don't transition in packs.  Singles, couples... it can be quite isolating to neither be part of where you were or where you are passing through. How do we know the way forward and how to we sustain the optimism to keep looking?

I wish I knew, better than I do right now.  What I have learned is to rehearse the past.  I don't try and relive the past, I know better than that (I hope).  What I try to do is remember the angst of not knowing the way forward I had prior to launching into adventures which are now treasured and rich with sentiment of meaning and life and love.  Somehow, that HOPE of a veiled future becoming a living present and eventually a remembered heritage is what we need; (that and all the warnings that if we stop hoping and resign ourselves to bitterness we will get bitten by vipers and die a toxic death).  So, forward it is, yeah?

Friday, April 20, 2012

What chu gunna due...

 Vocation.  Purpose and provision.  Make a living and live a life.  Kind of important.  For me, its time to focus on it.
When I had an ordination meeting 1 guy wanted me to recite the 66 books of the Bible and to be very, very clear on the role I was called to fulfill for the rest of my life.  I think I satisfied him with the first question, but made him frown about the second one.  "I am called to help expand the Kingdom of God".
 "Missionary?  Senior pastor?  Counselor?  Make up your mind, son!"  Well, he wasn't that brash, but it does make for a better story; and it certainly is the story rattling in my head these days.  Is it too late to be a social psychology researcher studying why some guys contribute to the system with anxious and strident calls for anti-paradox?  If not, then I may be ready to answer your question, bruther.
 So, now that I'm coming out of the grieving phase of God blessing my prayers and giving me kids who are grown up and doing fine without me, it is time to get cleaned up and honed up once again.  Who am I and what am I supposed to do with my life?
 I have AT&T phone and internet, so one thing I know, I need money.  I have a wife and I live in a world where provision doesn't grow on trees, it comes through networks.  So, I need to get in a grove of networking and do something perceived as useful enough to get my share of resources.  Nothing mercenary about it, it's just part of mutual reciprocity, of belonging, of wearing my tribal colors.
 But even if someone bought me a winning lottery ticket I would still need more than provision, I need purpose.  I really enjoy watching soccer, but even if I was richer than Roman Abromovich, I would not find watching everyone else doing something enough.  I need to take the treasures God has invested in me and invest them in life.  I can't bury myself or hide my grace given light under an ikea container.  I gotta get on with life.
 So here comes the devil's domain; the details.  I fancy a shot at a couple of ventures here in the US, taking a break from living everywhere but here.  One is a church plant north of Austin.  "Where 2 or more are gathered" would become a frequent phrase for a while.  I would be jack of all trades.  I would have to act like an extrovert.  But, it would be exciting.  The trick is partly one of provision. If it all came together I would get some financial backing to get started from a few local churches.  The twist is I might get several pastors of those supporting churches each being my supervisor.  "Have you tried this..."  "I always find that...".  The idea of getting good ideas is great.  The idea of constantly disappointing at least one of several is a bit unhealthy.  Really not so sure about that.
 Another idea is pursuing a pastorate in a rather large church with a big staff and really likeable people.  Full time preaching.  I'd have to learn how to be funny, though.  And clear.  And practical.  I wonder if I'm up to the challenge?  I'd never get to use words like "phantasmagorphic".  The best I could hope for is working up to "cognitive-dissonance" as a familiar term for regulars.
 But, that might be o.k. right now.  I'd like to be indulgently peculiar, obfscating my messages on clarity and such.  But maybe being sane and accessible is o.k. too?

Sunday, April 15, 2012


Psalm 105
1Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done.
2Sing to him, sing praise to him;
tell of all his wonderful acts.3Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
4Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.

Psalm 105 is inscribed on a Chinese scroll hanging in a Sunday school room in Antioch Baptist Church in Timberlake, North Carolina.  The opening verses are arranged in a format to highlight the letters A-N-T-I-O-C-H.  It is a thank you gift from our family to the church family who sent us out to the other side of the world, cryptically referred to as "the pink country".

In 1996 a 3, 4 and 5 year old loaded up their blankies, a select few remaining stuffed animals, and set off with the parents to a land where bread was replaced by rice.  Trees were planted in their memory, and now I carry a special wooden pen carved from one of those trees felled in a storm.  The kids have also grown tall, not falling in the storms, but launching into their own lives.  Coming back to Antioch I reconnect with those small children and the family of hope.  It is almost too much to bear.

We went, not out of restlessness in North Carolina, but out of overflow of gratitude.  "Give thanks to YHWH; call on his Name".  As young adults, fresh out of the Marine Corps and uncertain of our new civilian identities, each of us came to understand the grace of God in Christ and each of us called out in confidence to him.  We told each other when we committed our lives to one another, that every day given was a bonus upon the amazing grace we had already received.

The Psalm, 105, is partially found in 1 Chronicles 16.  It is the account of David bringing the Ark of the Covenant into the city of Peace.  God with his people prompts songs.  "Sing to him, sing praise to him;"  God's presence with his people; the God of grace and comfort; the one who rescues us from ourselves and a world turned upside down; it is a cause for poetic release; of lyric love.

In verses 1, 2 and 3 ("Glory in his holy name;"), the delight in the relationship with God, in gratitude, song and glorying, each result in the call to bring the goodness to others.

...make known among the nations what he has done.
...tell of all his wonderful acts.
...let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice

When we see God's goodness, we share that with others.  That is what we have tried to do.  And now?  What now?
"Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always."


Saturday, April 07, 2012

the resurrection as a 'black swan' event

Was 'resurrection' a major theme of the gospels, and a major expectation of the disciples?  N.T. Wright argues "no".  The pharisees believed in the resurrection, as did those who followed Jesus, but the basic understanding was at the end of history there would be a new creation launched with resurrection.
The point is that Jesus rising from the dead was truly shocking and defining for his followers, not an expected next step which they felt compelled to claim regardless of whether it actually happened or not.
for the disciples :

  • surprising - resurrection happens after the Messiah completes history, not in the middle of history, right?  Apparently not!!
  • significant - resurrection now defines what Jesus was trying to teach.  The curse of sin has been paid in full and the new creation has begun.  Jesus is the awaited blessing and is now the Lord around whom life is to be ordered.  
  • sensible - resurrection now shows up in promises from Genesis to Jesus and we wonder why it wasn't obvious before.  The hints and promises were there all along.

A "black swan" was an English idiom of improbability, like, "when pigs fly".  Swans were all white, not black; plain and simple.  But then a naturalist, John Latham, brought word from Australia: "Actually...."
This overturned idiom then became the title for a book by Nassim Taleb describing phenomena like the rise of the computer, September 11 attacks, etc.  Each one is surprising, significant, and in the rear-view mirror, sensible (should have seen it coming).  The concept, then, of shocking deviation from expectation, is part of life in a world of limited knowledge and understanding.  Jesus' resurrection fits that criteria.

When Paul preaches to the eclectic pagan crowd at the Areopagus he merges with them for a common starting point and then begins to make a distinction of worshipping the creator vs. the creation.  His pivotal point is that the diversity of religious views and practices have been decisively clarified by a black swan event: the ruling judge of right and wrong is now known due to his resurrection from the dead.

Today when we preach, the options are varied as well.  There are various religions which are focused and claim that their internal perspective lines up with external reality over and against other beliefs.  Muslims tend to think they are right and others are wrong.  They do not see themselves as speaking through their experience, or blindly describing an elephant leg.  They claim that Mohammed has seen the whole elephant and his description is the only accurate one.
Various other religions likewise claim to actually be true.  This thinking is in contrast to the seemingly generous (though actually patronizing) view that all religions are 'true' in their own way.  In other words, they are voicing narrow views which are wrong but not worth sorting out.  There is some sort of ultimate 'divine' and all human expressions fall short and are therefore mere variations on a theme and optional at best.
A major counter voice these days is that transcendence is fundamentally wrong headed and bad.  The material reality is the only reality, and efforts experiencing and interpreting meaning and transcendence are delusional and unhelpful.  Aggressively atheists assert their confidence in the absurdity of all religions, but particularly on religions like Christianity which make firm claims on interpreting reality.
Just like the audience for Paul, we sometimes are able to begin a conversation but run into a definitive fork in the road.  Did Jesus actually rise from the dead, and if so, does it affect everyone everywhere?  And since I hold to "yes HE did and yes IT does, the next question is: in what way does it affect everyone?
This is where it gets most interesting for me, right now.  First there is the clear idea of getting blessing over curse; forgiveness over judgment; adoption over alienation.  By grace through faith there is shalom with God as Abba father.  And why?  So that the original mandate of being His regents to creation can be fulfilled.  The 'so what' celebrates the changing of the colors, from rebel to royalist, but it celebrates the putting on of the new identity more than the putting off of the old.
I knew a gang thug from Chicago.  A guy looked at a girl he and his friends were with.  They beat the guy to the ground, and then put his heels on the sidewalk.  My thug acquaintance then jumped onto the guy's legs.  Arrests followed and the judge offered a way out.  Go to jail for your crimes, or enlist in the USMC and start a new life with a new code. Charlie Brown (what we called him) was glad to have left the consequences of his old tribe and he should be.  However, the goal of his induction was not to be happy to be out of jail.  It wasn't as much about what he was not, as it was about who he now was to be.  Charlie Brown needed to man up and live out the grace offered to him and be a U.S. Marine with integrity.  No, he would not be perfect, but there would be expectations about discipline, courage, integrity etc. which were not a burden, they were a privilege.
The resurrection of Jesus, as Lord over the new and blessed creation, is an exciting opportunity to leave the thuggery of a creation vs creation world and to step humbly into a new order; one of sacrificial love, of blessing not thwarted by those who mock and curse.  Though the white swan reality of dog eat dog pervades so much of what I see, hear and experience (even feel), through the resurrection of Christ I have a conviction of something other; something good, something powerful and right.  The resurrection is shocking, significant and sensible; it is our blessed hope.